I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
