Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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