Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Alive.
So much puke
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
