That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
soo... how was my night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
