Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
