im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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