i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
