At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize