Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How does one acquire holy water?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
