Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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