well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize