the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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