shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
