I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I AM VODKA MAN
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
