Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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