At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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