How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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