its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
