What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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