I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize