That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
