I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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