his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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