So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
