how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ruined the universe
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
