where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
