Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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