This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
