I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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