I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
