i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
