After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
