He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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