did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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