so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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