Since when is my name a synonym for head?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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