so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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