I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
