i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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