Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
