It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
