yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
