thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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