More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
