TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
