I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
