I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
