let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
