So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
