she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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