I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
