why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
