the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
