LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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