Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will pee on everything he values.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
