So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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