hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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