the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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