We need to rekindle our bromance
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
two words: eviction party
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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