Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
