The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
