sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize