the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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