508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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