You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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