Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
These tits shall not be calmed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
